Dr. Jamie Bondage

I think this is good. I don't really like the chorus. it seems too repetitive. Idk. My oppinion. Also, the second to the last verse was a bit confusing to ...

This was pretty good. But, it sounded too much like a poem. The chorus is too repetitive. You should make it longer. give more emotion. Tell what's going on. I ...

This was very repetitive. It said the same thing over and over again. while I like the meaning behind the song, that doesn't mean that it has to be repeated. ...

1st one: I love the meaning behind it, but it doesn't flow! It's choppy and short. The stanzas don't exactly make sense. It needs to be longer. Add at least ...

Um...It's okay. it doesn't flow at all. It's very brief and sketchy. add more and make it longer. Try and make it flow more. who's dying? why? what happened? How's ...

This is extremely short and repetitive. You need to lenghthen it and add more substance. Every song has a reason why it was written, normally to express emotion. Get more ...

This was good. You need to work on your transistions. It's a bit choppy, but I think it's good. More description, don't repeat words or ideas. Since this is just ...

This was good. It seems a bit...common. that's fine since it is in first person, but sometimes the phrasing of things is hard to follow. I personally do not like ...

I really like this. It shows something that most relationships have to deal with. I love the ryme it has and the way it flows. Because it is so short, ...

If you space this out a bit and make actual paragraphs, you will get more critiques. The way it is, it is really hard to read, and therefore discourages people ...

1. the nineteen year old said. Nineteen-year-old That's the only gramatical/structural mistake I saw. There is too much telling. SHe looks like this he did this. We have five senses. ...

1.“Why do you trust me with your secrets?” asked Avalon.. Take out a "." 2. What do with those hands could kill you as well.” This sentence doesn't make sense ...

1.handsomeness Word? 2. but mostly so I no one could see my blushing. Take out the I 3. I blushed again furiously. Comma after again, and take out the ly. ...

1.He would appear and stay for a while then he would disappear for days, sometimes weeks. Comma after while. 2.“Help me,” said a quiet and desperate voice. Orlam turned around, ...

1. But then on Tuesday something happened. I’m a TA in the office and I saw Jerry walk into the office once again barely noticing me. He sat, waiting outside ...